A VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION

 

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY.

He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor : Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . .. . 

Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing.. I only have my Faith.

Professor : Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor : Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't. 

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold.
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something . You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and
Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says that You have No Brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent.. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

NB:

That student was Albert Einstein.
Concentrate on this sentence

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence.... . 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

watani wa jadi...

This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash'
and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours Sincerely,
The Dog.

Questions You Would Never Guess the Answers!!!

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.  

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend's hand.        

 Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
        A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front

The true meaning of glass...

Paka mwenye Uwezo wa Kunusa Kifo Kabla Hakijatokea...

Ukimuona ni paka wa kawaida ambaye hana tofauti yoyote na paka wengine lakini inasemwa kuwa ana uwezo wa kuwatambua wagonjwa wanaokaribia kufariki hospitalini na hadi sasa imesemwa kuwa ameishafanikiwa kuvinusa vifo vya wagonjwa 50 kabla hata havijatokea
Paka anayejulikana kwa jina la Oscar hujisogeza na kukaa karibu na kitanda cha mgonjwa aliyebakiza muda mchache kufariki.

Iwapo ndugu wa mgonjwa huyo watamfukuza paka huyo nje ya chumba cha mgonjwa wao na kumfungia mlango, basi paka huyo hugoma kuondoka na huanza kuukwaruza mlango kwa nguvu aking'ang'ania kuingia ndani.

Paka Oscar ambaye huishi katika nyumba moja ya kutunza wagonjwa wazee iliyopo kwenye mji wa Province katika jimbo la Rhode Island nchini Marekani hupenda kuzungukazunguka toka chumba kimoja hadi kingine katika nyumba hiyo.

Inadaiwa kuwa Paka Oscar huwa hapendi kutumia muda wake pamoja na vikongwe katika nyumba hiyo isipokuwa wale tu ambao wanakaribia kufariki.

Tabia ya paka huyo ambaye hivi sasa ana umri wa miaka mitano, iligunduliwa mwaka 2007 na manesi wa nyumba hiyo ambao kwa jinsi walivyo na uhakika na uwezo wa paka Oscar huwataarifu familia ya mgonjwa anayezungukiwa sana na paka huyo kuwa mambo yanaelekea kuwa mabaya.

Katika kuonyesha uwezo wa paka huyo, siku moja manesi walimchukua paka huyo na kumweka kwenye kitanda cha mgonjwa ambaye waliamini atafariki dakika yoyote ile, lakini paka huyo alichoropoka na kukimbilia chumba cha pili yake.

Uamuzi wa paka Oscar ulijionyesha siku hiyo hiyo kwa mgonjwa wa chumba cha pili kufariki siku hiyo hiyo jioni wakati mgonjwa wa chumba cha kwanza aliendelea kuishi kwa angalau siku mbili kabla ya kufariki paka Oscar akiwa amerudi pembeni ya kitanda chake.

Wataalamu hivi sasa wanamfanyia uchunguzi paka huyo ambaye alianza kulelewa kwenye hospitali hiyo tangia alipokuwa kichanga.

Mmmoja wa wanasayansi anayemfanyia uchunguzi paka huyo, Dr David Dosa, ameelezea mshangao wake kwa uwezo wa paka huyo kutabiri bila kukosea vifo vya wagonjwa 50 katika kipindi cha miaka mitano.

Dokta Dosa anasema kuwa hakuna maelezo yoyote ya kisayansi kuelezea tabia ya paka huyo.

Katika tukio jingine, mwanaume mmoja aliyetajwa kwa jina la Richards aliamua kukaa pembeni ya kitanda cha mama yake muda wote baada ya madaktari kumwambia kuwa mama yake aliyekuwa mgonjwa mahututi angefariki muda wowote ule.

Richard bila kupumzika alikaa pembeni ya kitanda cha mama yake kwa siku tatu mfululizo lakini mama yake hakufariki.

Madaktari walimshauri Richard aende nyumbani kwake akapumzike kidogo kabla ya kurudi baadae. Richard kwa shingo upande alikubali kuondoka kwenda kwake kupumzika.

Muda mfupi baada ya kuondoka, mama yake alifariki. Hakufariki akiwa peke yake bali Oscar alikuwa pembeni yake.

Quote of the day...

“Nothing in life is permanent, not even one’s troubles.” by

~ Charlie Chaplin ~

Vegetative state patients can respond to questions

Scientists have been able to reach into the mind of a brain-damaged man and communicate with his thoughts.

The research, carried out in the UK and Belgium, involved a new brain scanning method.
Awareness was detected in three other patients previously diagnosed as being in a vegetative state.
The study in the New England Journal of Medicine shows that scans can detect signs of awareness in patients thought to be closed off from the world.
Patients in a vegetative state are awake, not in a coma, but have no awareness because of severe brain damage.
Scanning technique
The scientists used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) which shows brain activity in real time.
They asked patients and healthy volunteers to imagine playing tennis while they were being scanned.
In each of the volunteers this stimulated activity in the pre-motor cortex, part of the brain which deals with movement.
This also happened in four out of 23 of the patients presumed to be in a vegetative state.

KWA HABARI ZAIDI, BOFYA HAPA

George yupi sasa?

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with
normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are
you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'

George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so
he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes
off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.
 

A little later in the day, the  Doctor calls George's wife. 'Ethel,' he
says, 'George is doing fine! But I  had to call you because I'm in awe of
his relationship with God. Is it  true that he gets up during the night and
poof! The light goes on in the  bathroom, and when he's done, poof! The
light goes off?'

'Oh my God!' Ethel exclaims. 'He's p*ssing in the fridge again!'

Tiger Woods noma...

For men only... 5 rules!

1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 

5. It's very, very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

I approve this. 

Tiger Woods 

Orlando, Florida, USA.

Ulinzi viwanja vya ndege...

Labda usivae nguo kabisa (kama ndege ya juu inavyopendekeza) au ukaguliwe (kama hapo chini)

Last year's quote's from ...

Making love is the only job in the world which a man or a woman cannot include in their CV's, despite years of experiences and a number of references no matter how powerful... though people get influences and misuse of the same. what a pity! most of you would have been CEO's by now...

A Little laugh...

NEVER GIVE UP... KAMA CHURA ANAVYOKOMAA HAPO.

SHIT HAPPENS, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S YOUR BAD DAY... UNAONA MDAU HAPO, SIJUI ANADHANI ATAIBUKIA WAPI KWA FIKRA ZAKE!

Wrong Side Of The Bed! Must be a joke...

Mimi binafsi siamini kama ni kweli, ila mdau wetu amesisitiza... naiweka kama 'joke of the day!'




Mother Superior was on her way to late for morning prayers, when she passed
two novices just leaving early from morning prayers, on their way to
classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies."

The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."


But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I
think she got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning." This startled
Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue.


A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the Sisters
who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them
with, "Good morning Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom
for our students today."

"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with you." 


But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got out of the
wrong side of bed today." Baffled, she started to wonder if, she had spoken
harshly, or with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more
pleasant.


Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired Sister Mary approaching,
step by step, with her walker. As Sister Mary was rather deaf and infirm,
Mother Superior had plenty of time to arrange a pleasant smile on her face,
before greeting Sister Mary. "Good morning, Sister Mary. I'm so happy to see
you up and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a
wonderful day."

"Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior, and thank you. I see you got up on the
wrong side of bed this morning."

Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done wrong? I have
tried to be pleasant, but three times already today, people have said that about me."

Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior in the face. "Oh,
don't take it personal, Mother Superior. It's just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."

2 women in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Sandra.
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

SAD STORY TO GAIN FROM

A Couple has been married for 5 years now. They have a 2 year daughter.

Like any couple they have their ups and downs, that's life.

One day just after they had a fight over their differences of opinion, the wife went shopping at the local mall, where she bumped into her ex-boyfriend from varsity. After a chit-chat, she discovered he was doing well for himself in business. They exchanged numbers. From that day on, they started talking daily over the phone. Plans were made to meet, but where, when?

That's when the ex-boyfriend came up with a plan that they should meet in Cape Town to spend a week together. The ex-boyfriend would organize everything; the plane tickets and a nice beach holiday resort for them to enjoy.

She would have to lie to her husband, saying she is going to a conference in Cape Town for a week..

Her husband took her to the airport on Sunday evening. 2 hours later she was met in Cape Town by her ex-boyfriend who had arranged a very romantic evening with her. After the romantic evening they went back to the resort, made love without a condom, of course they have known each other for a very long time.

For the next 5 days they had a wonderful time jollying / quad biking, up the mountain in the cable car, swimming and sun bathing etc, wining and dining at the Capes top cafe's and restaurants, something she had rarely done with her husband.

They enjoyed everything money could buy, until she left on Saturday afternoon back to Johannesburg .

They used different flights to avoid being seen together (you know people talk). She was waiting in the airport for her husband to fetch her, when she received a call from her ex-boyfriend, who told her he was HIV-positive and that it was not a co-incidence when they met at the mall.

The reason why he infected her with the disease was because he was jealous of the family she has and the beautiful woman she had become and the fact that he was financially successful but he is not happy because he knows that he is dying.

At that moment she just stood there and froze; thinking about what to do, as it was already too late to take anti-retroviral. She could lay a charge against him; it would only expose her for cheating on her husband.

That's when she took a taxi to her best friend's house. She told her friend everything that had happened and ask for advice. The friend advised her to come clean with her husband, tell the truth, she has just lost everything and has nothing more to lose. She then phoned her husband and explained every thing.

To my surprise, the husband collected his wife from her friend's house; he sat down with her and told her how much he loves her and reminded her of the vows he took at church and that it was a terrible mistake she has made, which unfortunately she has to pay for it with her life.

He told her that he is never going to leave her; he has forgiven her and will stick by her side no matter what happens.
Now she stays in another bedroom and he shares his bedroom with their daughter.

What is currently happening is, the wife is terribly sick and might die at anytime. The only thing remaining for her is prayer support, because she believes that a group of friends praying together, the stronger the prayer might be, please assist.

Guys... you should know of such happenings (that's why I let you know) as a warning to anyone contemplating cheating, to weigh up if it's worth it to both of you!

 As I sit and think about this experience, I thought to my self: why him?

 But I can not seem to come up with an answer. Then there is a lesson here; " You never know what you've got until...."

 "The morale of the story is? As people, we tend to undermine those who love us for a moment's pleasure (we are never aware when we are loved).

We keep on chasing waterfalls rather than sticking to the rivers, where we can swim with ease, "ignoring the 80% and chasing the 20%, does it worth it?".

To all my brothers and sisters, love the one you are with... 

 

"The beauty of life does not depend on how happy you are, but rather how happy others can be because of your existence..."

Secret mobile phone codes cracked...

By Jonathan Fildes Technology reporter, BBC News

Encryption is used on mobiles to stop eavesdropping

A German computer scientist has published details of the secret code used to protect the conversations of more than 4bn mobile phone users.

Karsten Nohl, working with other experts, has spent the past five months cracking the algorithm used to encrypt calls using GSM technology.
GSM is the most popular standard for mobile networks around the world.
The work could allow anyone - including criminals - to eavesdrop on private phone conversations.
Mr Nohl told the Chaos Communication Congress in Berlin that the work showed that GSM security was "inadequate".
"We are trying to inform people about this widespread vulnerability," he told BBC News.
"We hope to create some additional pressure and demand from customers for better encryption."
The GSM Association (GSMA), which devised the algorithm and oversees development of the standard, said Mr Nohl's work would be "highly illegal" in the UK and many other countries.
KWA HABARI ZAIDI BOFYA HAPA!

Google reports China-based attack

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Google said Tuesday the company and at least 20 others were victims of a "highly sophisticated and targeted attack" originating in China in mid-December, evidently to gain access to the e-mail accounts of Chinese human rights activists.
"Based on our investigation to date we believe their attack did not achieve that objective," according to a statement by David Drummond, senior vice president of corporate development and chief legal officer for Google, operator of the most popular Internet search engine.
Drummond said that as a result of the attacks, Google has decided it is no longer willing to consider censorship of its Google site in China and may have to shut down its site and its offices in that nation.
Do you think Google should leave China?

"These attacks and the surveillance they have uncovered -- combined with the attempts over the past year to further limit free speech on the Web -- have led us to conclude that we should review the feasibility of our business operations in China," Drummond wrote.

KWA HABARI ZAIDI, BOFYA HAPA...

Help him answer this question.........!!!

Wife goes to supermarket, sees men's briefs on sale. She buys a dozen of the same colour. Goes home and gives hubby.

Hubby protests, “Why buy me same colour? People will think I do not change underwear!!"

Wife asks, "Which people?"

Changes… a positive change, yes we can.

Kichwangumu, DSM.

We are about to close the chapters in 2009, and start a new year 2010 in few days to come. You can ask yourself, what have you done in 2009? Some will compliment themselves with different achievements as meet deadlines, meet goals and objectives etc etc. But if you analyze how you achieve these deadlines, goals and objective you will understand where you went wrong and what changes that you need to do for the future.

Today I will discuss with you generally about changes that we need to do to our lives, and change the way we use to leave. It is my dream that this change will affect positively your life as a person, as a family, as a society and eventually the whole nation.

We should all think of this positively and bring some serious change to ourselves. We need these changes in our life in every stage. In our offices, businesses, families, societies and the nation as a whole.

We all know ourselves and how capable we are, what we can do right, what we can do wrong, and what we can do to please our hearts, and make us feel good and everything is okay… This is not the change I’m referring to… What I mean is the change that will make us do the right thing very right and positively. We can change as Obama campaigns slogan ‘change we can’ and those who believe him, they join him and did it… believe me, ‘CHANGE’ you can…. A positive change to your life and this change will affect your life and the nation in general.

This is a very right time, and its only now that you can start it with change in years from 2009 to 2010; please start thinking how to change your life. I have some suggestions down here:-

ü  At Work place, change the way you work so that everybody around there will be attracted to it, make your subordinates admire what you do and how you do it, be creative. Let those who appraise you understand your creativity plans, and please plan it professionally and make sure the plans are achievable.

ü  For decision makers, please be positive. We understand you have your goals to meet but also you are managing human beings, not machines that you regulate as and when you want. Please share some of these plans and goals, take some advice on how to meet these goals, discuss (team work)… apply those modern management techniques you have them shelved!!! And this change will be possible. Remember, nothing will be achievable on one sided. Everybody has to play his/her part, and make sure you play your part not only right, but positively. This is what will differentiate you from being a boss and became a leader… yes a good leader that your subordinates will always admire.

ü  At home, understand that everybody who is there has a purpose. Don’t ignore anyone. Understand everybody’s needs, if possible discuss with them and agree on goals and how to achieve them. Let everybody be part of the house mission, and then work it out.

ü  For politicians as well. Stop lying and fooling everybody as if this country belongs to you and you only, stop making people feel that they are supposed to work for you! You might have bought some influential personnel, resources, and ideas that you believe they will work out your type of change, YOU ARE VERY WRONG! People need some serious positive change to your plans which will affect Tanzanians positively. We all know the current state of politics in our country (ufisadiz, rushwa and the kind, hata Mzee wetu Rais Mstaafu Alhaji Ali Hassan Mwinyi ‘Mzee Ruksa’ ameongea… tusisubiri mpaka bubu aongee, hapatatosha!!!), we are all responsible for the future of our land, Tanzania. It’s the right time now moving to New Year 2010, towards general election. Do your part, register and vote in 2010 general elections. Select the right candidate who will bring positive change to this country, let’s break the chain. Change, we can.

ü  In your business, at community activities, at our praying houses, everywhere we belong. Let’s change it to become the place we like and let others like it more. By doing that you will be doing you part of positive change that is possible and the results will affect yourself, your family, society and the nation in general. Please be supportive, bring this positive change that is possible.

ü  Last but not least, may I wish you all a Merry X-mass and a happy and prosperous new year 2010.

KICHWANGUMU,

DEC 2009.

Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Bill Gates...

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
 
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home place.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when will you provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when will you provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents' When you will provide 'My Past  Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office  hours.

Regards,

Banta from punjab.

p.s: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?????

Little John again...

Little John did it again...

A drink...

kwa glasi hizi... ukipata moja safi, na mambo yako pia safi... Shaibu upoz? Shirimaz na Shumaz wako wapi?

'Acidifying oceans' threaten food supply, UK warns

By Richard Black
Environment correspondent, BBC News website, Copenhagen

Acidification of the oceans affects marine life

Acidification of the oceans is a major threat to marine life and humanity's food supply, Hilary Benn is to warn as the UN climate summit resumes.

The UK environment secretary will say that acidification provides a "powerful incentive" to cut carbon emissions.

Ocean chemistry is changing because water absorbs extra CO2 from the air.

Some believe this could be as big an impact of rising CO2 levels as climatic change, though it is rarely discussed within the UN climate convention.

The UN summit in Copenhagen, which started a week ago, is scheduled to conclude on Friday, when more than 100 world leaders will attend in an effort to agree a new global treaty on climate change.

'Really important'

The science has come to prominence only within the last five or six years, and most of the details were not available when the convention was signed in 1992.

"We know that the increasing concentration of CO2 [in the air] is making the oceans more acidic," Mr Benn told BBC News.

"It affects marine life, it affects coral, and that in turn could affect the amount of fish in the sea - and a billion people in the world depend on fish for their principal source of protein.

"It doesn't get as much attention as the other problems; it is really important."

kwa habari zaidi, bofya hapa...

Mfanyakazi bora wa mwaka...

Hii ilikuwa tarehe za mwisho wa mwezi wa nne... mdau huyu akanaswa live... hatimaye akashinda zawadi ya mfanyakazi bora wa mwaka 'mei mosi'. Mdau, HONGERA!

Bongo tambarare...

Barua ya mama wa kihindi kwenda kwa mwanae Jagjit... DUH!

You Mom sardar singh
same address
South Puna,
India

My dear Jagjit,

Subject: A letter from Me mom to my son Jagjit

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address.

Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.


Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jitendra fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Lord, the real boss...

Ndege wa kwenye bendera ya Uganda

Tompson gazelle, ni wanyama jamii ya swala. Ni watamu... wapo ndani ya Ngorongoro crater pia.

Ndege hawa kwenye picha juu na chini wanapatikana Ngorongoro crater na pia wanatumika katika bendera ya majirani zetu Uganda

Super glue ni noma...

SASA HAPA SIJUI IMETUMIKA 'PHYSICS' GANI? MAANA GAUNI LINABEBA MBAO... PAMOJA NA MISUMARI KUPIGILIWA LAKINI WAPI? DUH! BOFYA PICHA IKUWE VIZURI...

Wasomali wanavyoiharibia Africa

Hii ni aibu kwa bara letu, hawa jamaa inabidi washughulikiwe na wabadili aina ya maisha wanayoishi.

Rais wetu wa awamu ya tatu

Benjamin William Mkapa, namzimia sana huyu jamaa... ukiacha mapungufu yake kidogo, na 'influence' fulani fulani zilizomharibia, jamaa ana misimamo sahihi sana. Uncle Ben pumzika mkuu.

The Rubisiz...

Na Mpiga picha wetu
Kanyigo, Bukoba.



J.C.V. Rugemalira, The Mugyabusoz na The Shumbushoz mpo...

True Friend is hard to find...

Nuns Talk of Salvation Between Legs

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and young nun Sister
Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old
nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at
Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do,
and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday
night bath had gone.

"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when Fr. John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him,
and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he
said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.
Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to
Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be
assured of salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his
Key to Heaven into my lock."

"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.
"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to
salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart
with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."



That wicked old Devil!" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's
Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"

Baba wa Taifa na baadhi ya wadau Butiama

Sullivan Foundation grants 875m/- to Tanzania

2008-05-12 09:40:58
By Adam Ihucha, Arusha

Tanzania will immediately benefit over USD700, 000 (about 875m/-) in various grants from the Leon Sullivan Foundation, its public relations director Nichet Smith has said.

Proposed donations would be offered in the form of medical supplies, books and play pumps.

Play pump is an innovative children`s merry-go-round that pumps clean, safe drinking water from a deep borehole every time the children start to spin, now very popular in South Africa`s rural areas.

These items would be awarded and distributed to various groups during the Sullivan Summit VIII set to be held here early next month.

In an exclusive interview with the Guardian here last week, Nichet said besides the donation package, `The Summit of a Lifetime`, as its title goes, would also stimulate business.

``This year`s Sullivan Summit will stimulate, generate and drive business, tourism and development towards Africa like never before,`` she said, adding it was upon the local entrepreneurs to make a fortune and reap cash as much as they can out of the Summit.

Nichet said the Sullivan Summit delegates have heard a lot about East Africa and Tanzania in particular, so they are coming with a lot of cash to spend with an eye to leave economic impact behind.

According to her, there are two scheduled passenger Ethiopian Airways planes that would fly directly from Washington D.C to Kilimanjaro International Airport on 31st of May 2008, with 500 potential delegates with an intention to explore Arusha prior to the Summit.

``It is this time when these people will spend a lot of cash to purchase whatever in their disposal,`` Nichet said, stressing that local people should get ready to reap the benefit of the summit.

``We want to take Africa to the next level in terms of development, but for the endeavour to succeed, we in Sullivan Foundation create a platform for our members to dialogue with African people so as to know exactly what is needed,`` she said.

In this way, Nichet said, Leon Sullivan Foundation members and local people will form networks, enter joint ventures, and make friends for major future plans.

Promising that Arusha would be hectic than ever witnessed before, she urged locals not to get afraid of the delegates, instead, should interact with them, asking them anything, telling their story, impressing so that in the end, such interactions are seen to be bringing real change, she said.

From her point of view, Tanzania being a peaceful country stands a better chance to woo tourists from US immediately after the Sullivan Summit.

``I can assure you, the Summit will mark a great impact in terms of tourists flow in Tanzania in the near future because of peace and stability`` she stressed.

The key strategic objective of the Sullivan Summit VIII, in Arusha, is to create the opportunity for the nations in Africa and primarily North American and European business interests invest and otherwise engage in the socio-economic development of the African continent, through foreign direct investments, joint venture initiatives and public-private partnerships.

• SOURCE: Guardian