Guys, here's your chance to know the seven sex secrets women wish their partner knew...

A good talk is a great aphrodisiac
Many women find talk a great turn-on. For them, talking and feeling loved are very important. Good conversation during walks or while the couple is relaxing can be a great aphrodisiac. A man could tell his woman how much he loves her, which acts as a reassurance that he is with her mentally during those intimate moments.

Many women are anxious about their looks
For a couple that has been together for long, sometimes it is natural that women may feel that their partner may find them less alluring. Because of this some women undress only under the cover of darkness. Caring men can sense such anxieties. There is no need to lie and say she's gorgeous if she isn't, nor is there a need to say that she is not attractive anymore. One can always appreciate and praise what you do find attractive.

For a woman sex isn't separate from rest of her life
On the other hand, men tend to compartmentalise, feeling that stressful aspects of life can be parked mentally and separated from sexual activity. Women need good feelings and experiences during the day to have satisfying sex. How her lover treats her out of bed, greatly influences her response in bed. Inattentiveness, harsh language, rude tones, hurtful words, and criticism can make it difficult for a woman to get involved, feel enthusiastic and be passionate during sex.

An or*asm is not a necessity
Many men feel that a good lover is one who can bring his woman to climactic sexual culmination. It is great to have such moments, but aren't always essential. Many women feel pressure from partners and even from themselves to reach an or*asm. Sometimes instead of having orgasms, women prefer to engage in just for*play.

Sex need not be a serious act
Playfulness is a great quality. Many men are far too serious about sex. They forget to laugh, be romantically mischievous, have fun. Playfulness and light-heartedness can make intimate moments enjoyable and relaxing. This takes performance pressure off from both partners.

Women cherish non-sexual touching and tenderness
Women love romance, cuddling, hand-holding and kissing. But many women complain that their men never do this except during for*play. A woman should make her man realise the joy of touching. As you give him a relaxing massage and stroke his face and hair tenderly, he starts experiencing the joy of this kind of non-sexual touching. Tell your man what makes you feel loved.

Warm attention after sex is important
A woman's need for tender moments goes beyond the actual lovemaking. Some women complain that men fall asleep immediately after the act. It is true that when a man is having sex, his endorphin level is very high. Almost immediately after ejaculation, he goes through a refractory phase where he loses his erection and all his systems gear down. In females this phase happens gradually. However, if you don't like him falling asleep immediately, tell him without putting him down. Alternatively, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and gently wake him up afterwards.

Want to kick start your day feeling healthy and positive? Look no further than the bedroom, suggests a new study ...

According to the research, adults who have se.x first thing in the morning apparently not only feel more upbeat for the rest of the day, but also benefit from a stronger immune system.

The study suggests that adults who begin their day this way are healthier and happier than those who simply opt for a cup of tea and some toast before heading out of the door.

Not only does it make them less likely to catch a cold or flu, it can also improve the quality of their hair, skin, and nails.

"Having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving and bonded all day long," the Daily Mail quoted Dr Debby Herbenick, an American research scientist and sex advice columnist, as saying.

Dr Herbenick, author of the book Because It Feels Good, added: "It makes you stronger and more beautiful too: Morning se.x can strengthen your immune system for the day by enhancing your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection.

"And it releases chemicals that boost levels of oestrogen, which improves the tone and texture of your skin and hair."

Other studies suggest that the benefits do not end there. A study at Queens University in Belfast found that having sex three times a week could halves the risk of heart attack or stroke.

Research from Nottingham University also revealed that men who kept up a regular se.x life in their 50s were also at lower risk of developing prostate cancer.

Tujenge vipi mahusiano yanayo dumu?

Mwandishi wetu, JF.
Niliwahi kumuuliza mama yangu swali kwamba "ume weza vipi kudumu katika mahusiano kwa mda mrefu hivi
wakati ndoa zingine siku hizi naona zina vunjika baada ya mda mfupi tu".
Alionesha kukaa kimya na hakunijibu,ila jumamosi moja aliniita tukaenda sehemu na alinipa ushauri kweli
maana alijua binti yake kesha kua.

Nimeona topic nyingi zikiongelea talaka,kuvunjika ndoa na kadharika,nadhani naweza toa point kidogo tu
kama nilivo pewa na mama,baadhi ya hizi zimefanya kazi kwangu ingawa sijaingia kwenye ndoa, ila kama zime fanya kazi
katika uchumba naamini hata kwenye ndoa zitaweza kufanya kazi pia.

Lakini mahusiano yana tofautiana,hakuna fomula inayo fanya kazi kwa kila mahusiano au ndoa lakini unaweza
kuokota kitu kimoja kika saidia.Tuanze basi:-

Kwanza: Uwe na commitment katika mahusiano.

Tunapo anza mahusiano mara nyingi na ARI sana ya kutaka kuyafanya yadumu.Utataka sana kujua
mwenzako anapenda nini,anapenda boxer za aina gani,rangi gani za nguo anapenda etc.
Lakini baada ya mda tuna yasahau haya,na consentration ina hamia kwenye kazi,watoto,computer kwa sana,
etc.
Vitu vidogo vidogo sana kama hivi ndivyo vina sababisha kuchokana,baba watoto katoka kazini anakukuta uko rafu rafu,hutaki kuvaa vizuri,akileta zawadi ya nguo una mwambia ana haribu hela,hutaki kuvaa zawadi anazo kuletea mmh.
mwenzako hivyo ndo vime anza kumfanya atamani kutoka nje,usipo vifanya wewe atatafuta wanao weza kimya
kimya.

Pili: Jichukulieni kama marafiki

Kama wapenzi mnapokuwa pamoja mda mrefu mnageuka kuwa marafiki wazuri sana.Ukiona kam mwanamke/mwanaume huwezi kuongea jambo linalo mhusu mmeo/mkeo mbele yake (face to face) basi ujue una muogopa
na mapenzi yenu hayana "urafiki" ndani yake.
Hapa utaanza kuwaambia mashoga zako mambo ambayo ungemwambia mmeo ange badilika/badilisha ili radha ya mapenzi iendelee.Mtu ana diliki kukwambia "mme wangu hanifikishi",....sasa unae mwambia ata kusaidia nini zaidi
kukudharau tu?au "mme wangu ananifikisha sana" una tegemea nini zaidi ya kuchukuliwa mme?

Kuna vitu vidogo vidogo kama hivi ukimwambia mwenzi wako atapata motisha ya kufanya zaidi au kuongeza pale alipo
shindwa,kama rafiki.Ukisema nje unabomoa tu.Ndiyo,privacy lazima ziwepo sometimes.

Tatu: Kubalini mapungufu yenu.

Kubali kabisa kwamba hujaoa malaika,ndoa zinazo dumu ni zile ambazo watu wana kubali mapungufu yao.
Ukweli ni kwamba,hadi mna oana lazima utambue kwamba mapungufu unayo yafahamu kuhusu mwenzako ni machache
sana na jinsi mnavo endelea kuishi utayajua mengi zaidi.Kuwa tayari kuvumilia mapungufu ya mwenzako kwani kama
alivo na mapungufu,unayo pia.

Nne: Jioneni kwamba mko sawa.

Hapa ni swala la kujitoa tu,unapo ona mwanzako anataka kitu flani na wewe unataka kitu kingine mmoja wenu awe
tayari kukubali kwamba mimi sio bora zaidi ya mwenzangu.Kwa mfano mdogo tu,mme anataka kula kuku leo,mama ana
taka kula nyama ya ng'ombe na hamuwezi kupika vyote.Mmoja wenu akubali kula kile anacho chagua mwenzake kwa siku hiyo na siku nyingine ikitokea "conflict of interest" basi na mwingine akubali ku sacrifice anacho penda.

Pointi ni kwamba,usijione uko juu/wathamani zaidi ya mwenzako.Wote mko sawa.

Tano: Tafuteni msaada.

Wengi wanapo ingia katika mahusiano wanaamini kwamba it's all about themseves.
Ukweli ni kwamba mnahitaji marafiki,na mnahitaji familia zenu mliko toka.Kusaidiana katika kutatua matatizo ya
familia za wazazi wenu huongeza chachu ya mapenzi.
Mara nyingi majukumu haya wanawake wana waachia wanaume,ameolewa basi anataka mme wake ndo atunze
wazazi wake hapana.Mme wako kama atatoa msaada basi na wewe jitahidi uwanunulie wazazi wake zawadi.

Hamuwezi kutengeneza marafiki kama hamtembelei watu,ni nyinyi tu na geti lenu,hamuwajui majirani hadi msiba
utokee.sio vizuri.
Mnapo tembelea wenzenu mna jifunza mengi toka kwao na wao pia wanajifunza mengi toka kwenu na hivo .
Hata ikitokea mkashindwa kuelewana,kabla ya kufikia wazazi rafiki zenu wa karibu wanaweza yamaliza (if necessary).

Sita: Chukulia matatizo kama changamoto.

Naamini kwamba wanao dumu katika mahusiano ni wale ambao wakiona tatizo hawachukulii kama kuonewa bali wana
lichukulia changamoto.
Haiwezekani kuepuka mabishano yote,ila yapo yanayo epukika.Unapo bishana na mpenzi wako usi attack kama vile
anahojiwa na polisi,mabishano ni mazuri kama mtayachukua kwa ajili ya kuwajenga.Lakini mabishano hayo hayo yanaweza kupoteza imani kati yenu.(mwanzo wa matatizo tena).

Usitafute nani yuko sahihi nani kakosea,ukiona mmekatiwa maji na dawasco na ni wajibu wa mmeo kulipa,usi mkaripie
kwamba ni mvivu.

Saba: Privacy

Mmeo/mkeo anahitaji privacy na rafiki zake,sio kila akitoka sehemu na friends utake kujua wamepanga nini,etc.
Sijui niiweke vipi,ila ni vyema kutambua kwamba mwenzako anahitaji uhuru na privacy na respect it.

Nane:Have fun jamani.

Msiwe watu wa cycle ile ile,kazini,nyumbani,chumbani,k anisani oh.Mtachokana hata mwaka haujaisha.
Fanyeni kila mwisho wa week muwe na fun sehemu mtakayo penda,badilisheni sehemu za kuchezea "michezo" yenu,
kuweni wapya as much as you can.

Nisiwachoshe jamani,endeleeni kunifundisha na tufundishane.