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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Questions You Would Never Guess the Answers!!!

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.  
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boy friend's hand.        
 Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
        A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front

Friday, February 12, 2010

Paka mwenye Uwezo wa Kunusa Kifo Kabla Hakijatokea...

Ukimuona ni paka wa kawaida ambaye hana tofauti yoyote na paka wengine lakini inasemwa kuwa ana uwezo wa kuwatambua wagonjwa wanaokaribia kufariki hospitalini na hadi sasa imesemwa kuwa ameishafanikiwa kuvinusa vifo vya wagonjwa 50 kabla hata havijatokea
Paka anayejulikana kwa jina la Oscar hujisogeza na kukaa karibu na kitanda cha mgonjwa aliyebakiza muda mchache kufariki.

Iwapo ndugu wa mgonjwa huyo watamfukuza paka huyo nje ya chumba cha mgonjwa wao na kumfungia mlango, basi paka huyo hugoma kuondoka na huanza kuukwaruza mlango kwa nguvu aking'ang'ania kuingia ndani.

Paka Oscar ambaye huishi katika nyumba moja ya kutunza wagonjwa wazee iliyopo kwenye mji wa Province katika jimbo la Rhode Island nchini Marekani hupenda kuzungukazunguka toka chumba kimoja hadi kingine katika nyumba hiyo.

Inadaiwa kuwa Paka Oscar huwa hapendi kutumia muda wake pamoja na vikongwe katika nyumba hiyo isipokuwa wale tu ambao wanakaribia kufariki.

Tabia ya paka huyo ambaye hivi sasa ana umri wa miaka mitano, iligunduliwa mwaka 2007 na manesi wa nyumba hiyo ambao kwa jinsi walivyo na uhakika na uwezo wa paka Oscar huwataarifu familia ya mgonjwa anayezungukiwa sana na paka huyo kuwa mambo yanaelekea kuwa mabaya.

Katika kuonyesha uwezo wa paka huyo, siku moja manesi walimchukua paka huyo na kumweka kwenye kitanda cha mgonjwa ambaye waliamini atafariki dakika yoyote ile, lakini paka huyo alichoropoka na kukimbilia chumba cha pili yake.

Uamuzi wa paka Oscar ulijionyesha siku hiyo hiyo kwa mgonjwa wa chumba cha pili kufariki siku hiyo hiyo jioni wakati mgonjwa wa chumba cha kwanza aliendelea kuishi kwa angalau siku mbili kabla ya kufariki paka Oscar akiwa amerudi pembeni ya kitanda chake.

Wataalamu hivi sasa wanamfanyia uchunguzi paka huyo ambaye alianza kulelewa kwenye hospitali hiyo tangia alipokuwa kichanga.

Mmmoja wa wanasayansi anayemfanyia uchunguzi paka huyo, Dr David Dosa, ameelezea mshangao wake kwa uwezo wa paka huyo kutabiri bila kukosea vifo vya wagonjwa 50 katika kipindi cha miaka mitano.

Dokta Dosa anasema kuwa hakuna maelezo yoyote ya kisayansi kuelezea tabia ya paka huyo.

Katika tukio jingine, mwanaume mmoja aliyetajwa kwa jina la Richards aliamua kukaa pembeni ya kitanda cha mama yake muda wote baada ya madaktari kumwambia kuwa mama yake aliyekuwa mgonjwa mahututi angefariki muda wowote ule.

Richard bila kupumzika alikaa pembeni ya kitanda cha mama yake kwa siku tatu mfululizo lakini mama yake hakufariki.

Madaktari walimshauri Richard aende nyumbani kwake akapumzike kidogo kabla ya kurudi baadae. Richard kwa shingo upande alikubali kuondoka kwenda kwake kupumzika.

Muda mfupi baada ya kuondoka, mama yake alifariki. Hakufariki akiwa peke yake bali Oscar alikuwa pembeni yake.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Quote of the day...


Nothing in life is permanent, not even one’s troubles.”
by

                                       ~ Charlie Chaplin ~

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Vegetative state patients can respond to questions

Scientists have been able to reach into the mind of a brain-damaged man and communicate with his thoughts.
The research, carried out in the UK and Belgium, involved a new brain scanning method.
Awareness was detected in three other patients previously diagnosed as being in a vegetative state.
The study in the New England Journal of Medicine shows that scans can detect signs of awareness in patients thought to be closed off from the world.
Patients in a vegetative state are awake, not in a coma, but have no awareness because of severe brain damage.
Scanning technique
The scientists used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) which shows brain activity in real time.
They asked patients and healthy volunteers to imagine playing tennis while they were being scanned.
In each of the volunteers this stimulated activity in the pre-motor cortex, part of the brain which deals with movement.
This also happened in four out of 23 of the patients presumed to be in a vegetative state.

KWA HABARI ZAIDI, BOFYA HAPA

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

George yupi sasa?

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with
normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are
you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'

George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so
he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes
off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.
 

A little later in the day, the  Doctor calls George's wife. 'Ethel,' he
says, 'George is doing fine! But I  had to call you because I'm in awe of
his relationship with God. Is it  true that he gets up during the night and
poof! The light goes on in the  bathroom, and when he's done, poof! The
light goes off?'

'Oh my God!' Ethel exclaims. 'He's p*ssing in the fridge again!'

Monday, February 1, 2010

Tiger Woods noma...


For men only... 5 rules!




1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 


2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 


3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 


4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 


5. It's very, very, very important that these four women do not know each other.







I approve this. 





Tiger Woods 


Orlando, Florida, USA.